Back through time

Dear Self,

I write this letter so that you may have a glimpse of your past to look upon and maybe this would serve as a purpose which you need to fulfill. Now I don’t blame you for every bad deed that’s occurred, every inevitable event that shouldn’t have happened, that could’ve been stopped, only if you’d been a little more stronger.

This letter is to remind you if you may change, that what kind of an individual you were, a two-face character, the kind of person whose personality is defined by the type of people they’re surrounded with! You know it’s really embarrassing when one lies to themselves, you keep on giving yourself this sense of relief that one day you will overcome your overwhelming horrors (if it’s gonna come, that is(apologies for sounding so blunt))

I’m not going to manipulate here, I’m talking to myself, how can I, but then my heart and my mind are not at one so it feels as if I support one and betray another. You know, you’ve been blessed with every happiness one can possibly even think of, you have the satisfaction of living under proper environment, sure there are problems everywhere, arguments which sometimes cross their limits but still it’s not something you can entitle your short-comings with! Accept the fact that you’re weak from inside, you might give this sturdy outward look expecting the whole world will fall right beneath your calves…no, my dear self, you need to go out there, face the harshness, move on with the life you’ve got left, lingering onto the past won’t solve your problems because your past is your problem and you just cannot do anything about it.

Sometimes it doesn’t matter the way you dedicate yourself to the ones you deem important, it doesn’t matter how strong your bond becomes with your close ones, there are these moments, subtleties which you just can’t detect which lead your life to haywire. You were never supposed to control every moment of your life, it’s only that you had the option to drive it to a pleasant ending so that when you would lie on your last bed, you won’t recall your past and would fill your eyes with regretful tears that you never tried..

It’s really amazing how one can complicate their own life using the exaggeration as a weapon just for the sake of drama, and not actually try to make it a little spicy.

Self, I know you’re still young and reckless, but there are some habits, some inclinations that you need to get rid of or your life will run on the same pace and you’ll forever be this monotonous tune that might sound pleasant and overachieving for some mere instants of time but then it’s importance, it’s shine slowly fades away. You know what I’m talking about, you’re not that unenlightened, you’ve got the potential but it’s just that you’re burning this potential away without even acknowledging the depth it might contain. You were never like this, you were pure, but the characteristic of being pure, innocent is that you can easily fall into a trap without even knowing that it is one!

Innocence though always praised for, but inside is so vulnerable, like a bare burning candle placed out in the open, a single whip of wind and darkness weighing in the void, the emptiness filling the atmosphere, chaos raging into the once settled and all hope lost.

I really don’t know what influences you the most, what’s the key that locks away your capricious soul, but I think you might listen to yourself for I’m calling out to you for help, the inner light which I can feel is slowly gleaming away, there’s still time, you can still turn back and walk the right path again, it’s all up to you. 

Since the time was born, it always occurred that the fault on one’s part was always blamed onto something higher, something which possessed a higher moral ground, something enigmatic which after so many years still remains a question if not more than a mere blind faith but this time, the control is in your hands..

Won’t say more but think upon this, why commit a deed relentlessly while being totally aware or subconsciously vigilant, when you know you won’t be able to handle the ramifications, when you know you’re going to look back on your life, lying on your last bed, remembering all those regretful memories, purposes that you’d let down..

There’s still time, please open your eyes...